The Nth Doctor Adventures  The Mind Stealers
by J A McCollough
Summary: Part One Of Two. The Pilot for my new audio series. The newly regenerated doctor battles the mighty aggrovax whilst meeting his new companions Alex and Bryan.  Part two coming soon...


**DOCTOR WHO: The Nth Doctor Adventures**

**The Mind Stealers**

The Crashing music is heard from the beginning of the Eleventh Hour, The doctor is coughing and spluttering, beeping and whirring accompanies the TARDIS noise.

**Doctor: **Come on old girl! Don't do that... Ooh I wonder?

_A beep is heard, followed by a louder, more violent whirring._

**Doctor: **No, no definitely not... AHH! (screams in pain) Not good not good, not now... do not do this now!

_There is a big explosion_

**Doctor: **Ah! There goes my Library, and the swimming pool. AAAH! (Even more painful scream) Will you stop that? Okay, locking on to nearest available time. _A beep._ 1816, good year... Lovely chap called Gerald, amazing hat!

_Another explosion_

**Doctor: **AAAH! For goodness! Oooh I feel a bit, not good not good... Got to, okay... going down...

_A Thud as the doctor collapses. Beeping, whirring, and explosions continue for a while, then, cut to hustle and bustle of a local tavern._

**Thug 1: **Alright Love, fancy a go on this eh?

**Thug 2: **Ignore him, you know you'd prefer me.

**Alex: **Actually, I'd prefer to take your dirty glasses and then never talk to you again you filthy-

**Thug 1: **I'll show you filthy love!

**Tom: **Oi! You two, HOP IT! Get out now, none of that hanky panky in my pub. You're Barred.

**Thug 2: **Ah, you watch it, you'll regret this tom you old trout.

**Tom: **Yeah, get out of it.

_Door slams._

**Alex: **Thanks Tom.

**Tom: **Don't worry about it Alexandra, just get on with them glasses, and when you've got a minute can you take the sack of pips over to Denis at the Wolf? He's paying my 4 shillings haypenny!

**Alex: **I'm done now, here take this.

_She hands him the tray of glasses, we hear clunking. She lifts the bag of the pips with a groan, and the door creaks as she exits._

**Alex: **_(sarcastic) _Nice going there Alex, you really told them! You're so good at standing up for yourself. God I hate my life. AH!

_Drops the sack, a thud is heard._

**Alex: **Oh just brilliant! Pips everywhere! First you fail to deal with two drunks, now you're going to lose your fifth job this month. Nice going Alex, back to the workhouse with you!

_The Thugs appear._

**Thug 1: **well well Terence, what do we have here?

**Thug 2: **Looks like a fine specimen to me Basil.

**Thug 1: **_(Faux posh voice)_ indubitably! _(Cockney again) _We shall has to have ourselves a wee bite.

_The TARDIS engines are heard loudly._

**Thug 1: **What the blazes is that?

**Thug 2: **It sounds like the devils music!

**Thug 1: **Witchcraft, the cow's cursed us!

**Thug 2: **Run Basil!

**Thug 1: **Way ahead of you.

_They run screaming, the TARDIS grows louder, Alex breathed loudly._

**Alex: **What is that? Is someone making that noise? Come out now! It sound like, it can't be... up.

_A sound of plummeting, the TARDIS noise peeks, and suddenly, an earth shattering crash... Alex Screams. A hissing is heard, smoke is bellowing from the TARDIS, beeping and cloister bell still sounding._

**Alex: **What is that?

_A door creaks open. The Doctor steps out._

**Doctor: **It's a she, actually. And she's tired. Needs a rest, you look like you could do with one. Who are you?

**Alex: **I'm, erm...

**Doctor: **Erm, thats an nice name, I'm the Doctor.

**Alex: **My names Alexandra, Alexandra Brooke.

**Doctor: **Erm was better, are we in London Alex?

**Alex: **You called me Alex, no one calls me Alex.

**Doctor: **They do now. You didn't answer my question.

**Alex: **Yes, we're in London.

**Doctor: **Brilliant! Yes I'm very brilliant, You were good too my old girl.

**Alex: **Erm...

**Doctor: **I thought you said it was Alex, and I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the Tardis.

**Alex: **TARDIS?

**Doctor: **T-A-R-D-I-S, Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. It's my spaceship.

**Alex: **Where did you come from?

**Doctor: **Up!

**Alex: **Are you mad?

**Doctor: **I hope so. (_A beat) _AAAH! _(Scream in pain) _Not again, I'll be back.

**Alex: **Where are you going?

**Doctor: **Down... down, down, down.

_A thud. The doctor collapses again. Roll opening credits._

_After opening credits, we here Alex's voice fading in slowly, an echo on it._

**Alex: **And then I moved down from Nottingham, I needed work see, to help the family back at home. We've only got 3 rooms, well 4 if you count the outhouse, but somehow I don't think anyone counts the outhouse. So anyway I moved down to London and got a job in this bar see, and I got fired for dropping glasses! Five times! Then Tom took me on, lovely man, pays me Tupence an hour, just for collecting glasses. Always wanted to be a barmaid, but Tom says I can't handle the punters well enough, and are you awake yet?

**Doctor: **What are you on about?

**Alex:**Oh hello, how are you.

**Doctor: **I'm fine, just having some downtime while my brain learns the new gears. New body see, not quite comfy yet. Are we in a cellar?

**Alex: **Yes, Tom said it would be alright if I brought you down here and looked after you till you woke up, he's ever so nice.

**Doctor: **Tom?

**Alex: **The Barman, sorry did you say you were called the Doctor?

**Doctor: **Yes that's me.

**Alex: **Just the Doctor?

**Doctor: **Yep, the one and only, well technically not the only, I've been other me's before. Its complicated... Lots of bodies, not sure what one I'm on now, lost count. Just call me X, Doctor X... No don't call me Doctor X that's Action man.

**Alex: ** Who's Action man?

**Doctor:** What about N, the Nth Doctor... yes I like that.

**Alex: **The Nth Doctor?

**Doctor: **Yes, your right, a mouthful, we'll just stick with the doctor. Now what AM I wearing?

**Alex: **Well, your clothes were kind of...

**Doctor: **Falling off? Yes, I was... big we'll say. I was rather big, and now I'm not. That's a relief.

**Alex: **Well I borrowed some of my Step-Brothers clothes, he works behind the bar. He's gone to get you a drink. You'd like him.

**Doctor: **Does he have a name or should I call him Step-Brother?

**Alex: **Bryan, his names Bryan. Bryan O'Hardy.

**Doctor: **Ah, an Irishman, love a good Irishman. North or south.

**Alex: **North.

**Doctor: **Ah.

_Enter Bryan._

**Bryan: **Ah, our mystery man is awake now is he? Here mate, have a gin.

**Doctor: **No sorry, I don't drink, at all. Well unless its tea, or possibly ribena, but you don't have that yet.

**Bryan: **Is he ok?

**Alex: **I think he has concussion, he seems a little... mad.

**Doctor: **Good! Mad is good! I like mad! Nice clothes by the way Bryan, loving the waistecoat. I need a jacket though, remind me to get a jacket when all this is over.

**Alex: **When all what is over.

**Doctor: **The terrible thing that's about to happen, that I'll end up saving you from. I can smell danger me, smell it a mile off.

**Bryan: **Mad as a ruddy hatter!

_Laser guns are heard, screams and general chaos._

**Doctor: **Hate to say I told you so but...

_Explosion. Then, silence._

**Doctor: **Right! Up we go! Tally-Ho!

**Alex: **Are you mad?

**Bryan: **You just heard what we heard right?

**Doctor: **Yes, it sounded like people being slaughtered, and by the sound of those type 35 proton blasters the attackers were using, something isn't quite right, so you two can either stand there blubbering like idiots, or come upstairs and actually be useful.

_The cellar door closes, we hear them creep upstairs._

**Bryan: **_(Whispering) _What if they're still here?

**Doctor: **Proton blasters in the 1800's? They must be alien, more advanced than you lot, which means they must have scanners clever enough to know we're here already, which means, they're choosing not to attack us, which means, I'm curious.

_Alex Screams._

**Alex: **_(Petrified) _Doctor what happened?

**Doctor: **They're dead, every single one of them. Not even one left.

**Bryan: **But their heads, they're.

**Doctor: **Gone, yes... Of course, I should have recognised the attack style. Aggrovax. Ooh a coat, lovely! Perfect fit!

**Alex: **TOM!

**Doctor: **Oh dear, perhaps a bad choice. I'll put it down shall I?

**Bryan: **Agro-what did you say doctor?

**Doctor: **_(impatient sigh) _The Aggrovax are an ancient race who insists on trying to live outside the laws of the universe. There are universal laws, enforced by the Shadow Proclamation, otherwise known as giant rhino policemen, and The Aggrovax ignores them. They attack whom they want, when they want. A merciless, brutal race. Ruled over by a council of elders who manage to keep the rest of the thugs in line, and prevent this kind of thing from happening. Occasionally one of the elders themselves go bad. Aggrovax Law protects the elders from everything, and everyone.

**Aggrovax voice: **Very good Doctor. It took you less time than anticipated, given your current state.

**Doctor: **Ah, good evening. Have I the pleasure of addressing an Aggrovax Elder?

**Aggrovax voice: **I am Baltrix Caspillian Major, Supreme Elder of the Aggrovax Council, and now I have confirmed it is indeed this building housing timelord DNA, I shall kill you!

**Doctor: **Well, with all due respect Mr Baltrix, _(blows raspberry)_

**Bryan: **Doctor, are you sure-

**Doctor: **Thanks Bryan, but I have this under control. _(takes dramatically deep breath and blows a giant raspberry again)_

**Aggrovax voice: **Disrespect towards an Aggrovax elder is a crime of supreme measure and is worth fifteen squalls in prison.

**Doctor: **_(singing) _Baltrix is a smelly poo, smelly poo, smelly poo... Baltrix is a smelly poo, smelly, smelly poo!

**Alex: **Have you gone insane!

**Doctor: **I do believe I have! Thank you for noticing! Now, move out my way Baldy, or you'll get a big thump in this... well, whatever you have instead of a nose.

**Aggrovax voice: **VIOLENCE! This is the final straw, I hereby arrest all three of you on suspicion of violence, and harassment upon the supreme elder of the Aggrovax counsel. Co-operate, or you shall be shot.

**Doctor: **Ding ding ding! Bingo!

_End Credits, To Be Continued..._


End file.
